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Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

Dunzo

The divorce was finalized this morning. We were first to see the judge (she wanted to get us done first since ours was uncontested, and the other divorce was contested), and it took all of 15 minutes. I had to answer a bunch of yes/no questions regarding the settlement agreement and divorce, the judge asked B a few questions since he didn’t have his own lawyer, she signed off on it, we got certified copies of the paperwork, done. I went right to the social security office to apply for my new SS card, that was done in about 10 minutes (small town FTW). I decided to not update my IL license, since I’m moving in less than 3 weeks.

I cried last night about the divorce, which is the first time in quite a few months. My poor friend Mitchell, he asks me what cartoons I like (we were instant messaging), and I say “I need a minute, I’m crying”. He’s probably thinking “all I did was ask her about cartoons. Why is she crying?”

Don’t know what I’m going to do tonight. My lawyer stressed I should find an available friend and go out for dinner, do something fun to offset the shit morning, but I’m in a mood where I feel like I’ll be bothering everyone, so I’ll probably just sit at home and watch TV.

Namaste

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I went to Stitches Midwest today, which was fun. The market was a lot smaller this year, and I didn’t buy very much. A skein of ribbon yarn, a mug with a little sheep and “Knit Happy” on it, and a few patterns. I brought my copy of Folk Shawls with and had Cheryl Oberle sign it. And I bought a few things for a friend on Ravelry.

They are filming an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in one of the neighboring towns, so our town’s been buzzing. Ty Pennington has been spotted at a few of our local eateries, and I heard he was at the baseball field pitching to the kids. Last I heard, David Duchovney is supposed to be coming out to work on the house at some point. I guess that’s a new thing for next season, having a celebrity come and work on the house.

We have a court date for the divorce, the 24th of this month. I am going to send my apartment application in on Monday, and talk to my dad and stepmom about setting a moving date! I am going to have a million things to do in the next month.

I really need to get some packing done this weekend. And try to get more boxes. The bookcase and DVD rack are empty, but that’s about it. Next up are the picture frames and knicknacks.

Namaste

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The drama!

Holy fuck have I had a weekend. B never came home from work Friday night, which just pissed me off because I thought he hooked up with some skank and spent the night with her. But when he didn’t come home on Saturday, by 5:00 I was a bit worried. I looked at his stuff downstairs and he didn’t have his meds with him. A little more worried, I called his mom. She had texted him Friday night, and at 3am got a text from him saying “Not doing well”. Calls to his phone went right to voicemail. I called the hospital, no record of him there, so I called the police and reported him missing.

Talked with a very nice officer, B’s mom and sister came over to sit with me for a while, I called B’s dad, who went out in search of his vehicle. Everything was quiet for a bit, MIL and SIL left, I watched TV and waited to see if he would come home. FIL called at 11:30pm and said he thinks he found B’s vehicle at the hospital. I go screaming over there, and sure enough, it’s his. I go in and talk to the lady at the ER desk. She says they have no record of him being admitted. I say BUT I AM HIS WIFE AND I HAVE REPORTED HIM MISSING TO THE POLICE AND HIS VEHICLE IS IN YOUR PARKING LOT WHERE IS HE. She says she has no information to give me. I call the police and they send the officer over. He goes in and talks to the same ER lady. She tells him that B admitted himself Friday night, and they transferred him to the next town over. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS??? No matter what is going on with him, if people are out looking for him and reporting him missing, you at least tell the people freaking out the bare minimum information so they know he’s OK and being looked after.

So he is in the hospital, apparently he was contemplating suicide and admitted himself. I have been a mess since last night worrying about him, because I still care about him even though he doesn’t love me. He called his mom and asked her to bring him some things (which I had to get together). He never told them we were divorcing, so I told them everything. When he was talking to his mom, she asked him “What is going on that got you here?” He said “Stress” She asked “About the divorce?” He said “Yes”. I call bullshit. He is doing this for drama. I have been the one doing everything regarding the divorce, on top of a million other things I have to get in order to move. His life is work and school, same as it has been for a while now. And HE wanted the divorce, what is he stressing over all of a sudden that would make him want to kill himself?

I talked to my friend Becky, and with some tough love, she made me realize how he’s manipulating me with this shit. And it’s so true. He knows something like this will make me want to come running to take care of him and be there for him like I’ve always been. But all I could do was sit by the phone and hope he, or someone, would call to tell me what was going on. Or that he would want me there, realizing finally what he was throwing away. He doesn’t want me around though. He called his mom. So his family needs to step up and take care of him. It’s not my place anymore. At least I know he’s all right, and is getting help (hopefully he’ll follow through and get REAL help for his issues), and his family is ready and willing to step up and be there for him even though all he’s done is push them further and further away lately.

Namaste

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Let’s see…

  • I’m working on a quilt (and already have plans for two more, but we won’t talk about that)
  • Working on a shawl (Frost Flowers and Leaves. Not loving it –I think it’s the color– but am sure if I don’t want it, someone in my world will!)
  • Got the retainer check from STBX for the lawyer. Just have to wait til the 7th to get the papers signed and the divorce actually in process! Not really what I had in mind for the day before my 35th birthday. Whatever.
  • Still no ring. Hopefully tomorrow.
  • Still no A/C. The window unit I bought for my office doesn’t fit right because the window frame is really weird. B said to call the repair guy and have him refill the central air, and see how long that lasts.
  • A guy flirted with me yesterday! I was taken aback, as I have not had a man show any interest in me in quite some time. It was nice. Send some mojo so maybe I’ll get a few dates….maybe more wink wink. It’s been seven months….I think my virginity’s growing back.
  • Went to my friend Becky’s tonight to sit and knit, and ended up staying for dinner (at her invitation). Quiche and salad. Yum!
  • Gave my friend Linda the blue Aeolian shawl the other day, and she flipped out! She kept hugging me. I like surprising someone with something for no reason…isn’t that the best?

Namaste

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Happy day!

What a great day…..I better enjoy it while it lasts.

I talked with the lawyer yesterday, and I am going to be able to get the settlement $$ I requested from B. Now I can comfortably move to AZ, which is a huge relief! Then last night I finished the blue Aeolian shawl:

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Love love love it! Hope the recipient loves it too.

I got some hand made stitch markers from The Queen (on Ravelry) that are absolutely gorgeous:

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She had asked me about some yarn I had (from a sweater I was making for B), but since I gave up on it, I sent her the 5 skeins I had left over, and she made me the stitch markers. I think I came out ahead in that trade! She says she may start selling them on etsy, so look her up on Ravelry if you want some for yourself!!

Today I went to the jewelry store to sell a few rings I didn’t want anymore (3 rings…got $90 for them!! Plus I’ll get more when she figures out how much my wedding band is worth.) and get my wedding ring altered. She is going to remove the wedding band and replace the small diamonds with peridots, plus size it up 1/2 a size. After all that, I’ll still be getting money back! Great deal. Plus when she saw me she exclaimed “I need to see you for a massage!”, so I got a massage appointment out of it, too. She’s coming Monday, and bringing my finished ring with. I am so happy, and can’t wait to see it.

And here are some funny pictures:

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Doesn’t the lava on top look like a penis?

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Taffy and Lexie (Lexie’s in the box)

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Lexie

Namaste

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We talked

Saturday night B and I had a sit-down conversation. We actually talked about what got us here, and he explained why he didn’t think it could be fixed. We both cried, and even hugged. I think the divorce will go a lot more smoothly now, and (gasp) I think we can come out of this as good friends. What a turn of events.

This is making me a lot more emotional, though. I was up until 2am last night, crying. I know I need to embrace the roller-coaster ride and not get stuck on a “high” (all the good memories of us) or a “low” (all the crap we’ve put each other through recently). Our marriage was a mix of high and low, and I need to remember that. I was regretting getting rid of some of the keepsakes, but know it’s just my emotions getting the best of me. I kept some things, and that’s enough. I have been debating what to do with my engagement/wedding ring (which I love), and I think I’m going to have the wedding band removed, and have the small diamonds on either side of the center diamond changed out to peridots (my birthstone). That should make a nice right-hand ring, don’t you think?

I dropped off the paperwork at the lawyer’s office today, and it seems we’ll have the petition filed by the end of the month. Then I need to start getting my Arizona plans in the works.

Namaste

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RIP

It’s dead. The air conditioner officially died last night. It can’t be repaired anymore–it has to be replaced. Not sure if I’m going to tell B or not; I think I’m just going to go and look for a cheap window AC unit for my office to get me through the summer.

He’s sent me a few more emails. Very long emails. About how I’m trying to bleed him dry, and how I’m the one who is wanting the divorce, he never said he did, and how he was such a perfect husband and I’m being an evil vindictive bitch. WOW. Part of me wants to sit down and write a novella back to him explaining just how very wrong he is, but I won’t stoop to his level. We live in the same house, he can walk up the stairs and fucking talk to me about this stuff.

Still knitting on the shawl(s). I’m pretty much just working on the blue Aeolian right now. No pictures of either shawl because I’m too lazy!

Namaste

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