Archive for August, 2009

Just got home today from (super fucking hot) Arizona. When I arrived Friday, they were of course having a record high of 115 (bazillion) degrees. Saturday both my Dad and stepmom went apartment hunting with me, and what an exhausting day that was! I wanted to see as many as possible, which for me was about 6, but in one day when it’s over 110 degrees is pretty damn good. I have it narrowed down to two, it just depends what the prices are in a few weeks when I apply if I go with my first choice or not.

After apartment shopping, the fam dropped me off at my sister Angela’s to spend the night. I wanted…nay, needed…to take a cold shower, but could not get cold water for the life of me. It was pretty sad….a sweaty fat girl crying in the shower because there was no cold water. I finally just wet a washcloth and fanned it a bit to try to cool it down before using it. The whole while thinking man, I can’t wait to move here! Of course I tell Angela this when she gets home, and she says “Oh, you should have called me. You just have to let it run for a while to get the hot water out of the pipes.” Gah.

We went to Island Burgers for dinner, meeting up with my favorite Raveler Auntie Jimbo. We had such a good time hanging out! I’m surprised we were able to eat, we were gabbing so much. I had my sis take pictures, and of course we had to ham it up:



Sunday was a bit more relaxed. Ang and I went to her friend Liz’s for a while, then she and I were off to Changing Hands bookstore. Then it was back to my Dad’s house, and to Macayo’s for dinner.

Backing up a bit, when we went to Liz’s, I met her adorable 3 year old daughter Gracie. Angela had a rough road getting Gracie to like her, but not me! I sat down at the table, Gracie sat next to me, stuck out her hand, and said “Hi, I’m Gracie. Nice to meet you!” Angela was standing behind her, with jaw dropped. I shook Gracie’s hand, and I was OK in her book. The whole rest of the day Angela was bemoaning the fact that Gracie warmed up to me so much faster. It was hilarious.

The flights were pretty uneventful (which is always good). We did arrive back in IL 15 minutes earlier than scheduled, to which the flight attendant quipped over the loudspeaker, “We have arrived 15 minutes early, so if you’re on another flight of ours and it’s late, consider us even!”



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The drama!

Holy fuck have I had a weekend. B never came home from work Friday night, which just pissed me off because I thought he hooked up with some skank and spent the night with her. But when he didn’t come home on Saturday, by 5:00 I was a bit worried. I looked at his stuff downstairs and he didn’t have his meds with him. A little more worried, I called his mom. She had texted him Friday night, and at 3am got a text from him saying “Not doing well”. Calls to his phone went right to voicemail. I called the hospital, no record of him there, so I called the police and reported him missing.

Talked with a very nice officer, B’s mom and sister came over to sit with me for a while, I called B’s dad, who went out in search of his vehicle. Everything was quiet for a bit, MIL and SIL left, I watched TV and waited to see if he would come home. FIL called at 11:30pm and said he thinks he found B’s vehicle at the hospital. I go screaming over there, and sure enough, it’s his. I go in and talk to the lady at the ER desk. She says they have no record of him being admitted. I say BUT I AM HIS WIFE AND I HAVE REPORTED HIM MISSING TO THE POLICE AND HIS VEHICLE IS IN YOUR PARKING LOT WHERE IS HE. She says she has no information to give me. I call the police and they send the officer over. He goes in and talks to the same ER lady. She tells him that B admitted himself Friday night, and they transferred him to the next town over. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS??? No matter what is going on with him, if people are out looking for him and reporting him missing, you at least tell the people freaking out the bare minimum information so they know he’s OK and being looked after.

So he is in the hospital, apparently he was contemplating suicide and admitted himself. I have been a mess since last night worrying about him, because I still care about him even though he doesn’t love me. He called his mom and asked her to bring him some things (which I had to get together). He never told them we were divorcing, so I told them everything. When he was talking to his mom, she asked him “What is going on that got you here?” He said “Stress” She asked “About the divorce?” He said “Yes”. I call bullshit. He is doing this for drama. I have been the one doing everything regarding the divorce, on top of a million other things I have to get in order to move. His life is work and school, same as it has been for a while now. And HE wanted the divorce, what is he stressing over all of a sudden that would make him want to kill himself?

I talked to my friend Becky, and with some tough love, she made me realize how he’s manipulating me with this shit. And it’s so true. He knows something like this will make me want to come running to take care of him and be there for him like I’ve always been. But all I could do was sit by the phone and hope he, or someone, would call to tell me what was going on. Or that he would want me there, realizing finally what he was throwing away. He doesn’t want me around though. He called his mom. So his family needs to step up and take care of him. It’s not my place anymore. At least I know he’s all right, and is getting help (hopefully he’ll follow through and get REAL help for his issues), and his family is ready and willing to step up and be there for him even though all he’s done is push them further and further away lately.


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No news is good news

So, the whole letter-writing idea went bust. My school won’t do it. I have to wait until after I move, then take 50 hours of continuing ed classes before I can get my license. I have to wait until after the move because the schools around here (and none are close, BTW) only have piddly classes…5-8 hours a pop. The school in Scottsdale has classes that run up to 25 hours, so I can get my hours done in two 3-day weekends. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but it’s the only solution I have at this point.

It is going to be mucho scary to move without a job (I may try to line up a part-time job or something, not sure yet. Methinks the school should be forced to give me a job, since they can’t be buggered to write a measly letter for me). Depending on the timing, I may be able to just live off the settlement money until I get my license, if all this takes place within a month. If my moving date screws with the first class, I will HAVE to find a job, because it will then take 2-3 months to get my license.

A friend asked me how long it will take after I finish my hours to get my license, and I formulated a plan. I will make a scene at the school so they messenger my transcript, ink still wet, over to the licensing board. I will then sit in the office every day, knitting, until they process my paperwork and can then hand me my license. Maybe I should also bring my iPod and sing songs as loudly as I can. Maybe that will make them work a wee bit faster!

After all my doom and gloom, I will leave you with a photo of me with my Stitch-In peeps, looking all happy together:


Front row: Marilyn, Linda, Heather, Lenore, Janan. Back row: Kathie, Eileen, Becky, Linda, Becky, Ollie, Heather, and me.


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I’ve been a bad blogger

Sorry. Lots going on here, and not much of it right now is good. I finished two more quilt tops (good), but they are being put on hold indefinitely until I can get some of this moving stuff straightened out.

The first problem I’m running into is my weight vs. personal health insurance. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that COBRA isn’t going to be too expensive for me because I’m on a few meds and I need prescription coverage at the very least. I know I need to lose weight, it’s on my to-do list. It just fries me that except for my weight and my high blood pressure (which is controlled by meds now), I am perfectly healthy. I hardly ever go to the doctor. No surgeries, no broken bones. Not even a cavity. But the fact that I don’t fit into their arbitrary number “box”, I can’t get insurance, or have to pay exorbitant amounts for the same insurance as someone who is “skinny” or “average” weight but may have a myriad of health problems.

The problem that is making me all RAGE RAGE right now is the AZ Board of Massage just told me, after it took them 2 months to get all my paperwork “in” (I think they had it for some time, in all honesty) to process my application, that my continuing education hours I submitted won’t count towards the 50 hours I am short on training (My school’s program was 650 hours, AZ requires 700 hours) because it wasn’t from a massage school. Nevermind it’s from a highly accredited and respected institute. No, they say I have to go to a massage school and get the 50 hours of training. Sure. I have plenty of time to do that in between moving across the country and getting divorced. And the fact it will cost me just under $1000 to get those 50 hours? No problem! I’ll just pick that money off my money tree tomorrow. I am going to call my massage school here in IL tomorrow and beg them to just write them a letter vouching for the hours, hopefully they’ll do it. I’ll cry if I have to. Don’t think I won’t. The AZ school I talked to said they run into this problem all the time, that the AZ Board is inconsistent about what CEU’s they will and won’t take, seemingly on a month by month basis.

What a fucking nightmare. Hopefully my apartment hunting next weekend will go smoothly (that is not a dare, Universe). Something should, at this point!


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…and maybe a little wiser…

Thursday, I met my friend Kristy in Janesville, WI for lunch, shopping, and general merriment. We met at The Dragonfly Yarn Shop, a wonderful little yarn store (and there was a bead shop right next door! Heaven!) owned by Kerri, who is one of the nicest people ever. Kristy is not a knitter, so Kerri and I were very amused at Kristy’s take on things (she thought the ball winder and swift were simply mesmerizing). I splurged and bought myself a hank of 100% silk lace weight yarn:


Then Kristy and I headed off to lunch at Red Robin:


On Friday, I had to go and sign the divorce petition, so I scheduled a massage immediately following the lawyer. Then that evening I finished my quilt:



Saturday, I went and got a reflexology session from my friend Sue, then headed to Rockford to spend the evening with my sister Amy. We went to dinner at TGIFriday’s:


Look at that steak sandwich! She, of course, told the waitress it was my birthday, and at the end of our meal we got a small sundae and the waiters sang Happy Birthday to me. I was a little buzzed at that point (their Blackberry Margaritas are to die for!), so I didn’t get too embarrassed. Then we went and saw Julie & Julia, which was sooooo excellent. Really, go see this movie! Meryl Streep was just phenomenal in it. After that was drinks at Big Al’s Bar, then we lost steam and were back at the hotel at….10:30. Yes, I’m getting old.

I couldn’t sleep very well, and Amy was up early, so I was up by 8am. We went to breakfast at IHOP, then both headed home.


I puttered around a bit, then took a nap. It was so nice to sleep in the air conditioning at the hotel, I didn’t want to come home. At least we got more rain today, which cooled things off a bit. I was going to go see another movie (I really want to see Harry Potter in the theater), I should’ve gotten groceries…sigh. Woulda, coulda, shoulda! But I had a great birthday.


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Not a lot going on here. Work is busy this week (good!), I am going to Wisconsin tomorrow to meet up with a friend I haven’t seen in a long time, and my birthday is Saturday (which is kind of bringing me down…I always miss my mom on my birthday). I’m also sad that my best friend L is moving away in two weeks. I didn’t think she’d be leaving so soon.

I decided on the “Sevens” layout for my quilt and have it all sewn together. All I have left is to finish adding the binding.


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